Chicago Bears in Super Bowl

The Chicago Bears beat the New Orleans Saints to advance to the Super Bowl which will be hosted in Miami Febrary Third.

A good many fans from Chicago will be making the trip down there. Someone should probably warn them not to go asking around for sausage in South Beach.

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Really big letdown for New Orleans, which had been looking to the team for hope. After the loss to the Bears, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have changed their minds and decided not to move there.

Miami Bomb Threat

Miami police destroyed a box that was to be loaded onto a Caribbean cruise ship because it tested positive six-times as an explosive. Later, the bomb squad determined that the contents were only plastic sprinkler parts.

But the damage was already done: Royal Caribbean announced that its Slip and Slide Tuesday event had been cancelled, and will be replaced by shuffle board.

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Fortunately, a local Home Depot rushed a replacement box of sprinkler parts, so that the cruise's Wet Tee-Shirt contest can go on as scheduled.

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When asked if he regretted the mistake, a Coast Guard spokesman said, "Oh sure, like the Islanders need any help growing weed..."

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And so the bread fruit crop, so important to the West Indies economy, remains at risk until the country's sprinkler can be replaced.